June 8, 2008
· Filed under Life · Tagged Cardiff, computer, inspiration
I took Friday off, and although I was a but nervous before I went to the show in the afternoon, inept, but I was really glad I went and came back feeling inspired. I had stopped doing what I loved because of bad things happening to me and around me, but as it was pointed out to me, I have grown up a lot since I was in college. I’ve had to. You take some knocks, get a bit damaged, and what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, at least once you’ve shrugged off your complexes. Ok, it’s taken a while but I feel more happy with myself than I have for a long time. At the party afterwards I got to catch up with some old friends, re-establish a few ties, and although I haven’t had a lot of luck recently I am actually not that bad at what I do and I actually left feeling quite appreciated. I’m afraid I had to do a Cinderella, leaving when the night was still young in order to catch the last train home, but in doing so I was spared the mother of all hangovers.
Saturday was a relaxed day. I browsed round the charity shops, bought some magazines, cleaned out the chinchilla cages, went to PC World because my new Mac software required an operating system update, went to Blockbusters, 2 DVD’s, chips on the way home and a quiet night in. Fantastic!
Sunday started with a lie-in, followed by a long walk around a car boot sale in glorious sunshine. I caught the sun on my arms and nose a bit. I brought back a rough surfaced tray for trying felting on, a few candle sticks, a book, some small glass bottles with cork stoppers, and… a spinning wheel – I am so excited over that! I will take a photo soon. 
June 3, 2008
· Filed under Life · Tagged inspiration, web
I’ve put a new stylesheet on my website and given it a quick update with larger images. I’ve also uploaded my AutoCAD work. I’ve been feeling a bit better recently.
My website
May 31, 2008
· Filed under Life · Tagged inspiration, self-doubt
Success and achievement are two completely different things. I’ve achieved one or two things but career wise I’ve never managed to get into my ideal job. I thought I did at one point but I was given the Alan Sugar treatment and that left me feeling a bit phased for a little while afterwards. In what I have done I have been fairly successful, that is, appreciated for unskilled work. It’s nice enough but I feel like I’m going to waste.
I had a job interview yesterday but at the moment I’m not holding up much hope about it. I was nervous about it and it showed. I was as honest as I could be. I had a task to do during it but but I didn’t complete it. They had been running late, I’d sat in reception for half an hour before they were ready for me, I was the last to be interviewed and they wanted to go for lunch. I walked away feeling like a jerk, but hopefully my website will carry me through a little. If nothing else, it gave me the motivation to shine that up a little. I know I was only up against another 3 people, so 4 of us altogether. That’s better odds that I’ve had previously, where 32 people went for 1 post (I came in 3rd, no medal, no cigar, but that’s because part way though I’d decided it probably wasn’t for me and didn’t sound as desperate maybe as some of the others).
During question time one of the questions threw me.
“What have you done recently that made you proud?”
Um…
Proud is something I don’t usually feel. I have had it hard-coded into me that I don’t have a lot to be proud of, and that pride comes before a fall, and that pride is fairly stupid. I didn’t say that of course, I picked an example from a while ago that made me happy. I do the things that I am compelled to do, that I feel the need to do, because they would annoy me if they were not done! They don’t always get me anywhere but at least I have a go.
Speaking of which, the annual Glammies show is next Friday. GCADT are moving from Glamorgan Uni. to Cardiff UWIC, to the Atrium so in effect it is the last Glammies show. I’m torn between signing up and taking the day off to go along and meet everyone again to catch up because I do like my old friends even though I don’t get to see them that often, and not showing up through utter embarrassment at never having managed to get to where I wanted to be. That happened on a previous occasion and there was a point where I had to go out and get some air (hide because I was about to start blubbing). I’m actually scared by it. I’m a wuss, aren’t I?
May 26, 2008
· Filed under Life · Tagged annoyance, blog, cold, film, inspiration
It has been cold and wet all day today, made less comfortable by the boiler breaking down, so no heating or warm water. There’s not much that’s better than a pair of pyjamas when you’re cold and don’t have to be anywhere, except, perhaps 2 pairs of pyjamas one on top of the other! I’ve been huddled up on a chair conserving my energy and spending too much time looking at Facebook, that is, when kids haven’t been playing `Knock and Run` at the door. They’ve been making sure I get some exercise.
In the news today it said that someone called Rob Knox, aged 18, was at a club called the Metro Bar in Sidcup. He got caught in a fight and fatally stabbed. He played a character called Marcus Belby in the upcoming “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” film. People will know his face after the film comes out. It’s all very sad and unnecessary, but it’s a sign of the times.
I’ve just seen a film on telly called “Arthur and the Invisibles”. It started off a little slowly, but then it developed into something like Labyrinth / The Dark Crystal / Brian Froud / Myst / World of Warcraft. All I can say is it’s absolutely brilliant!
I loved it!
